You need to do something creative for yourself and you need to do it now.
Whether you’re a full time 9 to 5-er, a busy mum or simply find yourself in moments where you’re unsure of where your life is heading, finding a creative outlet is going to change everything. I know this with complete certainty because I’ve gone on this journey myself. It’s going to change the way you feel about yourself, the way you feel about others and the way you approach your everyday life. It has the potential to completely transform your world altogether, actually.
You need to do something creative for yourself and you need to do it now. What that exact something is, I can’t tell you. But I think each and every one of us can identify a passion that we may have left behind. And I think it’s time that you tap into that. Awaken that sleeping beast, make the first steps toward getting immersed in something creative and unlock potential in you that you may not have known existed.
I want to share my very real and very personal story with you. It’s a little off track in terms of what I normally write about on the blog, but in the spirit of being more open with you and giving you insight into my life, I want you to understand why I think being creative and tapping into your passion is so important. And why you can’t afford to wait.
I started this blog on November 4, 2012. Three weeks later, my brother committed suicide.
Every time I get asked about the early days of the blog, I think about David. The two events (the blog’s creation and his passing) will always be intertwined. Who I was before he passed and who I am after are two different people. It’s inevitable. I remember saying that to my mother in the early days of the grieving process; that we’ll never be the same people again. That we’re changed, that we’re different, that we’ll view life differently. And we do now.
Thinking about David (and anyone, for that matter) taking their life is still beyond my comprehension. I’m not a religious person, so to think that someone is in such pain – and feeling so helpless – that they’re forced to choose eternal darkness over living brings me to tears. It’s possibly the most heartbreaking of situations to try and reconcile; that anyone feels they have no other option but to choose the finality of death.
I won’t go into the reason’s for my brother’s suicide, because they are far too complex and I respect that it is his story, not mine. And like anyone who has lost a family member or friend to suicide, it’s often a question you still can’t answer with complete certainty.
In the weeks and months following David’s passing, I thought about (as many in grief do) how short life is and about how it can be ripped away at any moment.
Before too long, I unconsciously set out to do all of the things I wanted to do in life. It took me a while to realise that I was doing it with such gusto because I was afraid of dying – and I worried constantly about what my life might look like looking back on it. Would I feel I wasted too much time? Would I feel I could have achieved more? Would I feel proud of myself?
Was I really living my best life? That’s the biggest question I kept asking myself.
The blog started to grow rapidly about six months after I started it, and I put it down to my dogged determination to feel I had ‘made it’. I stalked the interiors mags until they featured me in their issues, I started a course in design at ISCD and went on to study interior styling with them too. I also asked my friend (who was a producer at Sunrise) to give me tips on how I could get myself on TV, and I told myself that I would get a book deal within five years. I was on a mission to do everything I dreamed of doing and I wanted it all to happen really quickly. It probably wasn’t entirely healthy to operate in such a way; out of fear that I wouldn’t achieve everything I wanted to before I died. But it was what fuelled me to keep going. And it worked.
I did eventually deal with the emotional issues I had surrounding my brother’s suicide and I did get to a place where I was no longer operating out of fear. I did things because they fed my soul, because they made me happy and because I could see they were impacting others in a positive way.
My brother’s passing helped me see life for what it is, though; wonderful but fleeting. I never like to say that anything good has come from his passing, but I do know that the determination I have to live my best life was not there previously.
This brings me back to the original point of this post. The biggest message I want you to take from this is that you only have one life. This is not a rehearsal. You deserve to be the happiest version of yourself that you can be, and I want you to realise that not investing in endeavours that make your spirit soar does effect you mentally and emotionally (and it impacts the people around you too).
I don’t want you to operate out of fear. I don’t want a horrific event to move you to make a change in your life. I want you to realise that the time is now.
You matter enough to invest in yourself, and you’re deserving of doing amazing things. So please, if there is a course you want to do, if there’s a workshop you want to take, if there’s something you want to create or if there’s a blog you want to start… do it! The time is now and it is ticking quickly. Your partner will understand, your kids will benefit from a parent who is happy and YOU will start to see life differently too.
Before I started the blog – and before my brother passed – I worked a boring 9 to 5. I fantasised about what life could be like as a stylist or being on TV or having a book deal or having a successful blog. It only took 2.5 years and I have all of those things now. And trust me, I am no more talented, smarter or luckier than anyone else. I just took a chance and worked really, really hard at it.
It’s not until someone passes that you come to understand just how precious life is. So please do something for yourself… do it now and embrace every challenge it throws your way.
Thanks for reading and stay positive.
xxx Chris
Beautifully written Chris. I am so glad you are living your best life now – your blogs are always beautifully written, they are beautifully styled and you have such an eye for great design and the next big thing. Can’t wait to see your book – I will be one of the first in line for a signed copy.
Jacky
Oh Jacky you divine lady – thank you! I really appreciate you saying such nice things. You are too kind. The book comes out in Jan 2016. Can’t wait 🙂 x
I’ve always thought you seemed like a man on a mission. This very personal story gives me some insight into what drives you. Thank you for sharing.
My husband and I have been talking about investing in a property for the last 12 months. I just made an apt with the bank and booked us into a free ‘investing in property’ course. Thanks for the motivation. You’re so right. We are all sometimes guilty of being asleep in our lives. And I want to make sure I am the driver behind the wheel of my life. Without the horrific experience that you had.
Thanks so your kind words Gail. I am a bit of a man on a mission lol. I like that title! So much more to achieve though – the list goes on!
I am so glad you booked the appointment. You gotta take some risks in life and it really will all pan out in the end. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It means a lot!
Chris,
This is absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching…I am so very sorry about your the loss of your dear brother.:(
I can relate somewhat as I never really enjoyed my jobs….I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now I am older and want to do what I really enjoy with the rest of my life I have here on earth…Thirty years ago I had thought about interior design but never followed through because I had “stable” work.
Now I am writing about design and decor (both blog and articles), and hopefully will be doing more field work soon. I just started my blog recently and your story has instilled hope in me. Thank you for opening your heart to all of us and for your encouragement.
May I share your story on my blog? With full credit of course. Will probably just write a couple of paragraphs and share the link.
Forgot to mention, you are the one that inspired me to do full-fledged decor blog to begin with. Thank you. 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind words! I am very appreciative and I LOVE that it has encouraged you. Stable jobs will always be there, I reckon. You have to take a risk and give something creative a go at some point. It’s exhilarating if not a little scary. But in a good way.
More than happy for you to share this article. Thanks so much. I’ve checked out your blog and you write beautifully. Keep it up 🙂
Your Post is inspiring. It’s also heartbreaking. I will personally take your words on board, thank you!
You are so kind to say so, Rach – thank you! I really hope you can get something positive out of this post and I hope you’re following your dreams. Life is too short 🙂
Thankyou for sharing CC – you are such an inspiration and I am so happy for your success xxx
Thanks so much Marti – I really appreciate that 🙂
Thank you for sharing this, Chris. There are some beautiful thoughts on creativity here, expressed so eloquently. I always love Elizabeth Gilbert’s musings on creativity also and its connection to our essential selves, and your writing reminds me of the sentiment and importance of nurturing and fostering that side of ourselves, particularly when times are tough.
I am going to have to check out Elizabeth Gilbert now, Kura. Thanks for the tip. I am sure I will get something out of it! You’re very kind to stop by, to read and to comment – it is very much appreciated. I totally agree that creativity helps you get through trying times.
Oh Chris, thanks for sharing something so emotionally personal. I read this with tears but also a wry smile. I have been there before and yes while there is nothing good that comes out of it, there is a definite “light bulb” moment. I agree focus on something that you love, whether it be creative or anything else that stimulates the endorphins.
Thanks so much for stopping by to comment, Jaki. The light bulb moment was such a turning point. I can only hope other people don’t need that moment – or that the light bulb can come early for them in some other form. Appreciate your kind words.
So sorry to hear about your brother Chris – I lost my mother to suicide when I was 25. Like you I learnt to really LOOK at my life – I changed career and changed how I approach everything. We only get one shot at this thing called life – so do what makes you happy and find your joy in those little things that make you smile. It is why I have so many cushions, candles and pretty things in my home – they make me smile and I endeavour to surround myself with things and people who make me smile.
That is so sad Natasha. I am so pleased to hear that you’re on a happy path though. You know my philosophy; I think design and decor fundamentally changes your life and the way you approach it, so I’m totally on board with surrounding yourself with things (and people) that you love. Thanks for sharing your story too. The more people who talk, the more the stigma can be broken down.
Sorry to hear that Chris, suicide is such an awful thing for those left behind. xxxx
It is, Charmaine. Even worse for those that are lost though. A very sad and complex issue. x
I’m sorry to read about your brother Chris. What a devastating time for you and your family. This post is a timely one for all of us to read. Life is fleeting and much too short not to do what you love. Well done on creating a fabulous blog and chasing after your dreams. The world needs to see people like yourself taking a leap of faith and successfully landing on their feet.
Thanks so much Bec – that means a lot. Going after your dreams is a tough gig but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just hope other people get on board and start pursuing theirs too. Life is way too short!