Ever been accused of crazy behaviour when it comes to homewares? Me too. But don’t worry; this article is going to make you feel better about being addicted to decorating (and your partner can read it and understand that you, like me, are perfectly
Last year I wrote one of the blog’s most-popular posts, titled 10 Signs You’re Addicted to Decorating. It was so wonderful – and hilarious – to see so many of you sharing your own loopy behaviour in the comments section, and it made me realise that there are far more than 10 behaviours that prove we’re decor obsessives.
So here is a new list to add to the old one, and I’m sure you’ll relate to all of these too! Drop me a comment below and let me know if any of this sums you up 😉
10 New Signs You’re Addicted to Decorating
1. You know more about The Block than your own Family
So what if I know the name and breed of Kyal and Kara’s dog. It’s not my fault they were in my living room five or more nights a week for a solid few months.
I haven’t heard from my sister in a while, so I can hardly be blamed for missing the fact that she had three kids, changed jobs, moved house and has a new car.
The sad fact is that decorating addicts have an unhealthy obsession with reality TV shows in the renovating genre. I can also, within seconds of seeing an old ep of Selling Houses Australia come on, tell you the state it was filmed in, who the owners were and what they did to the house.
“That one never sold,” you’ll hear me announce after seeing five seconds of the show. #Talented
2. Shopping alone = nobody there to say no
It took us all a while to cotton onto this one. In the early stages of our relationship, we all begged our partners to come furniture or homewares shopping, didn’t we?
Then, we slowly learnt that after having an uneducated person come along for the ride to frown at our selections, going alone was a far better option. I find that, by asking ‘brain me’ if I like the decor I’ve picked out, brain me always agrees and the process is so much smoother.
Partner’s coming along only creates drama. Usually because they don’t realise that the only reason they’re there is to agree with your decisions. When asked “What do you think?” surely they understand that’s a rhetorical question?
3. You will move the house around constantly
My partner has joked that he’ll come home one day and the bed will be in the kitchen. Yes, what’s your point? Has he tried a bed in the kitchen? I can see the benefits of being right beside the coffee machine first thing of a morning.
But in all seriousness, a decorating addict gets bored with the rooms in their home every week, so it’s a given that the layout will change constantly. Even if you know the room can only go one way in terms of furniture configuration, you’ll try new things anyway.
The only downside to this is that you sometimes need your partner to help you move the large items. They usually try to talk you out of it under the guise that your layout ideas won’t work – and then when you realise they’re right, you’re forced to pretend your concept is still amazing.
“I quite like not being able to see the TV. We’ll trial it for a week”.
4. Things get tense when the word “Budget” is brought up
Any decorating addict will tell you that being on a budget is a fate worse than death. Simply because you just never know when you’ll need to purchase a new scented candle (PS: I have 39 scented candles in my home as I type this. Not even kidding).
Often, if you’ve been on a shopping spree, your partner tries to sit you down to approach the idea of you spending less on home decorating. It usually involves concepts like; need versus want, how good the place looks already, how no more changes need to be made etc.
This is a conversation that they cannot win. You’ve already got a vault of comebacks ready for this, and can name 56373 times they’ve spend money on unnecessary items. Case closed. Budget not implemented.
5. You’ve prayed that furniture will break or get ruined
You’re not even that religious but you’ve taken to wishing, hoping and praying that the hideous armchair you purchased last year (because you loved it then) will get ruined by the dog, scratched by the cat, or sucked into the earth in what will be the most-needed earthquake to hit Australia.
A decorating addict is known to make purchases they later regret. Regret, but will never, ever admit to, of course. This can only mean you have to find ways to get rid of the purchase. This is especially tough with larger items.
Sometimes the only option is to pull a 60-Minute Makeover style reveal on your partner when they get home from work. “Look, honey, a BRAND NEW ROOM”. You can only hope they don’t ask where the old room went.
6. You’ve realised getting a joint credit card was a mistake
Those early days of the relationship were bliss, weren’t they? When you had your own cards, you could buy another 5 or 90 wall prints for your entryway and not even need to go into the conversation about how you’ll pay your bills this week.
Of course, as the relationship went on, you made the rookie error of merging your finances and now all of your spending is right there in black and white for your partner to see. If you’ve got an especially left-brain partner, who loves to look at numbers and figures and stats, this is not going to end well, and usually results in Number 4: A discussion about budget.
Now you must find new ways to outsmart the accountant in your relationship. It’s a game you know you can win. You just have to figure out how.
7. You have crossed four lanes to collect a roadside find
You know you’re not that good at DIY, but that doesn’t mean you won’t fight a bitch over a set of old dining chairs found outside someones home on council pickup day.
A true decorating addict knows when the council pickup is happening in their suburb, actually, and can be found getting out early the morning of. The best decorating addicts have vans ready, willing and able to pick up anything and everything – with grand plans to repurpose all items.
Of course, none of these aspirations amount to anything and in most cases they find their way out the front of your place during the next council pickup. But you need to go on that journey of realisation and self discovery in your own time. Your partners claims of “You’ll never do anything with that”, are futile.
8. You missed a Kmart drop and it’s killing you
The worst fate for a decorating addict is discovering in bed, while reading a blog (this one, of course), that Kmart has just dropped a new-season homewares range. How you missed this is beyond you, but you put your own self loathing aside for a moment to enter into a panic attack that you’re not at your local Kmart shopping up a storm.
Worse still, you KNOW there are people there right now (especially at the 24-hour stores), butting their trolley up against the shelf and just dragging everything into it! All of the homewares that should be yours.
This usually results in a sleepless night, followed by an early morning trip to Kmart as the doors open to see what’s left. Of course, the answer is: not much.
It’s for this reason you love and hate Kmart in equal parts.
9. You hate it when people use your ‘display’ decor
Something people fail to realise in life is that some items in the home and for display purposes only. One of these, of course, is the tea towel.
Now, you didn’t go and spend money on the tea towel of your dreams to have people come over and attempt to wipe something up with it. That’s what the roll of paper towel is for.
And no, the paper towel is never on display. It’s in the cupboard, which as you can see, is a right mess, because as a decorating addict I shove all of my mess in there before people come over. Which leads me to my next point…
10. Your house is immaculate. Just don’t open a cupboard
You’ve had people come over and say how gorgeous your house is. What they don’t know is that behind every cupboard door, and inside every drawer in your home, lies a hot mess of epic proportions. A mess so large it could kill a grown adult if they got caught under it.
In my own home, I’m often asked where something is. That is the most hilarious question to ask me. The sad truth is that, that in a state of panic, it was shoved in some random place that made no sense and has since been forgotten.
Important documents can be stored with food, shoes, rubbish, and any other random item collected in a rushed moment as your doorbell rings.
It’s what makes us so loveable, right?
How many of these behaviours can you relate to? Drop a comment below and let me know if there are any other crazy decorating behaviours you’re always called out on!
Wanna Join our Gang?
Are you completely addicted to interiors? Of course you are! You might wanna jump into my private Facebook group and share your love of all things design with other readers (join here). In the group, members share snaps of their homes, get design advice from me and others, plus get discount codes to shop sales at their fave stores.