The Block 2022 master bedrooms reveal is complete, and we must now go through the thankless task of dropping truth bombs you didn’t hear on the show.

As a vessel through which the design gods speak, I gotta give it to you straight: I don’t think any of the rooms this week were amazing. I did not gasp. I did not clutch my imaginary pearls. I did not tell my partner we’d be gutting our master and starting again after seeing the revealed rooms.

Nevertheless, I’ve gone ahead and called out what soared and what sunk this week, and it’s left my personal ranking of the teams as follows, from best to worst:

Rachel and Ryan
Dylan and Jenny
Tom and Sarah Jane
Omar and Oz
Ankur and Sharon

Drop me a comment at the end of the post and let me know which of The Block 2022 master bedrooms was your fave!

Tom and Sarah Jane Came First

I have to come right out and say it you guys: the fireplace is, as the French Say, Le Uggle. I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me. Not only is it not visually appealing, but the tile work around is just asking to be knocked into when you’re stumbling to the loo in the middle of the night.

It needs to be turned at a bare minimum, so it faces into the room and toward the bed more. Maybe I’m wrong (it happened once) but I’m not feeling this fireplace in this bedroom. Like me at a country pub’s tits-and-schnitz night, it just doesn’t belong there.

The orientation of the room – walking into the bed as you enter – isn’t giving me joy and rapture either. A bedroom is at its best when you walk in and see a well-made bed across the room, looking at you in all its cushion-clad glory. For me the layout is lacking.

There Are Some Successful Moments Here Though

You know me; outside of these major design crimes, it’s rare I meet a furniture or decor piece I don’t like. And in Tom and Sarah Jane’s room there are many. The pendant light is great. The bedside tables are great. The lamps on them are great. Even the artwork is a stunner.

But, and you knew there was going to be one, they don’t really work together. Honestly, take a look at the artwork here on its own and it’s stunning. Somehow in the room, on that green wall, it loses its appeal. Something about the tone of that green is not doing it for me.

The quilt cover set though: stunner deal. We love. The whole bedscape is in fact quilt lovely. Nice tones, nice patterns, nice textures. I’m on-board.

Sadly though, and it’s the case for a lot of the rooms this week, I don’t see this as a sophisticated master bedroom. It’s a guest space, but not grand enough for a master suite.

The Walk-Through Robe Was Good, Not Great

The colours and materials here are lovely. To quote Kath Day-Knight, “I loike what I see”. The eyeballs are tantalised in many respects. And they ticked a lot of boxes in terms of the shelving areas, the hanging zones, the shoe drawers, you name it.

I take issue with the doors opening toward you to go into the ensuite though. Like anything from the Macca’s healthy choice menu, nobody wants that. You want a cavity slider door you can open and close easily with one hand in the dark of night.

It’s not practical to have a door like this in a space like this. There’s too much potential to cop a swinging door to the face when you least expect it. There’s also no lock. Is it just me or do we want a lock when we’re going to the loo?

Ankur and Sharon Came Second

Jesus take the wheel. I don’t know where to start with this master bedroom. I think Meghan Trainor summed it up best when she said in her 2016 song: “Nah to the ah to the no no no”.

Let’s forget about the walk-in-robe for a moment. We’ll get to that goodness in a second. Because it was, in fact, epic. But before you arrive at it you need to get through the everything else in this space. And I have to sit in my truth here: almost nothing is successful.

This is the sort of room clients call me into and ask me for help with. A room that’s been around for 20 years and needs a refresh. A room that clients say feels confused and with too many competing styles. “Time to get rid of the old antiques” they’d say to me.

Apparently I should tell them not to worry; this design is magical. Just ask any Francophile!

This Isn’t Modern Country in Any Capacity

Even if I accept the fact that maybe it’s my personal taste getting in the way, this still isn’t modern country style. What’s modern country about velvet asylum padding running up a wall with 1992 Copperart lights coming out of it sitting over French antique bedsides?

The chair sitting in the corner of the room by the fireplace, and the art above it, is the only thing I would keep in this room. Everything else is being banished to The Upside Down to haunt the children from Stranger Things. Let’s start with all the junkyard trinkets.

It’s very unfortunate, because the period details in this room, like the arches and ceiling roses, are so so beautiful. And then it gets furnished like this? I need a box of Bex and a lie down.

The Walk in Robe was Epic, But Out Of Place

This is my favourite walk in robe from master bedroom reveals week. There, I said it. I’m not all about calling out the bad, I’m about being honest. And the truth is that this robe is gorgeous. The soft green and the oak are a match more glorious than Elton and Britney.

There is such a whopping sense of light and space here, and the sheer curtains add a wonderful layer of softness. I want to stop, drop and roll around in this WIR until the sconce falls off the wall (it’s the only element letting this WIR down, and it’s gotta go).

But here’s the issue: none one element here works with the adjoining master bedroom. Nothing. It’s like pairing up one old thing with a shiny new one. Like Leonardo DiCaprio and his 25 year-olds. It’s beyond contrasting. There’s a major disconnect.

If you managed to find a buyer who loved the ancient vibes from the master bedroom, there’s no way they would love the modern vibe of the WIR.

Rachel and Ryan Came Third

Well this definitely says ‘master bedroom’ in a way that many of the others did not. Ambient is definitely the right word for it. I haven’t even been in the room but I can feel a light, a warmth and a charm from it. I feel Rachel and Ryan did really well here, mostly.

I want to start on the positives. Divine neutral palette with mass appeal: tick. We do have to remember, that despite the same millionaire purchasing The Block homes every year, this is meant to be about appealing to potential buyers. And the palette here does that.

There’s a good use of texture for sure. The VJ panelling, the sheer curtains, the carpet, the rug (albeit it not the right size); it’s all working in creating a room that feels welcoming. It feels like home, right? Soft, soothing, sophisticated. All of the buzz words and more.

Now Let’s Address Some of the Errors

You get to have a four poster bed or a feature pendant. You don’t get both. Like eyebrows, they’re just better apart. If I had to remove one I’d actually remove the four-poster bed in favour of an upholstered bed frame with a high headboard.

The four-poster seems dwarfed here. Like Leslie Jordan in a room with, well, anyone. I love the look of it, but I like the idea of a pendant light in this room more, because you have a gorgeous ceiling rose that needs showing off. That pendant though, not amazing here.

Now, my heart can’t go on without mentioning the weirdness around that stack stone fireplace; where it meets the cornice. What is going on there? It’s weirder than Michael Jackson’s plastic surgery journey. I know something went wrong but can’t pinpoint exactly where, when or how.

The Robe Was Good Too

Let’s start with the sliding barn door. Can we talk about the door? Give me the door. I’m like that guy from Game of Thrones who doesn’t stop banging on about the door. It’s everything. What a way to enter the walk-in-robe. And no potential injuries in sight.

I wouldn’t exactly call this robe big, not in comparison to some of the others and not in terms of the scale of the home. It does the job though. And who am I kidding? I would kill for it and then demand my own Netflix true crime doco be created afterwards.

So while I do think their master bedroom is the best overall, it does need some tweaking.

Dylan and Jenny Came Fourth

We need to hold the phone and back up a bit. Before we critique the master bedroom and walk in robe from Dylan and Jenny, can we talk about the lack of doors in this master wing? Once you walk through the double doors into this zone, there are no other doors present.

No door on robe. No door on bedroom. No door on ensuite. Let that sink in for a moment. Imagine your partner in the ensuite dropping heat while you’re getting read in the robe. No thank you. Imagine you starkers in the robe and the double doors swing open and the kids can see your crack!

This is a fundamental design flaw I can’t get past, and one that needs pointing out. It’s why, despite what the judges said, walking into the robe first is not a great idea. The door needs to be relocated. And then the ensuite needs a door on it. Nobody will convince me otherwise.

The Master Bedroom Itself Was Nice

The foundational elements of the room were quite successful. It would have liked it larger, but it’s nice. Good carpet and paint combo, nice wainscoting, sheer curtains on the taller doors/window are nice, and I enjoy the bed styling (nice tonal palette here).

Overall, there’s a sense of grandeur present. It feels sophisticated, and more like a master bedroom that three of the other rooms presented this week. I also love and adore the upholstered window seat. The curtain in it needs to be replaced, but the vibe is there.

I also love the fireplace in this room. Far more successful than the one in Tom and Sarah Jane’s, and Ankur and Sharon’s master bedroom. I can’t get on-board with the TV-in-mirror thing this week, nor do I like any of the furniture for this particular space. But it’s a fair effort.

I must also declare the wallpaper inappropriate too. It’s giving off tropical vibes. It’s haunting me from a previous St Kilda season of The Block. I’m scared Mitch is going to jump out of a closet to argue with me about all-drawers in butler’s pantries.

The Walk In Robe Was Beyond

Ankur and Sharon’s walk in robe was a winner for me, with this one coming in hot as a close second. It’s so glorious. I love a space like this with a storage moment in the middle, and how smart of them to position the makeup zone near the window.

Take it from a guy who’s applied makeup for TV in rooms with no natural light; it’s not pretty. I’ve rocked up to sets before looking one green wig away from a full Oompa Loompa fantasy. You always want natural light for makeup application. A small detail like this makes a big difference.

Everything else about this robe is beyond too. So much storage, so much space for styling, and really successful mood lighting too.

The only thing for me that needs to go is the pendant light. Why does old-school luxe always conjure up Moulin Rouge vibes for people? We don’t need it. It makes no sense in the space and speaks to no other elements at all.

Omar and Oz Came Last

For me, this master bedroom just doesn’t work. Style-wise it feels more Hamptons to me than modern country (though I do like the art above the bed), but the spatial planning of the zone is the bigger concern.

I love me some old details, for sure. So if you can keep fretwork, by all means do. But, if keeping it means a master suite can’t fit a king-size bed and feel grand, you gotta get rid of it.

A buyer doesn’t know what was or wasn’t there in the beginning, right? So they’re not going to walk in if this was one huge master suite and say “gosh I wish there was fretwork in here somewhere”. So why not rip it out?

Or, another solution: Move the door so you enter the space in the smaller zone where the fretwork is. Then you have a much wider wall with which to have a huge bed and larger, more appropriate bedside tables.

The Study Nook is a No-Go

This zone looks like a moment from a share-house. So much stuff piled in. Why so many books, and why Sonny Bill Williams taking front and centre? I was going to make some joke about SBW, but I legitimately know nothing about sport unless it’s Drag Race, so I’ll refrain.

I don’t mind the idea of something built-in that you can recline on, but why wedge a desk against it with a budget shelving solution above? I’d honestly be scared to sit under those shelves. You’re asking to be taken out by the gold rhino once those brackets give way.

When it comes to the robe, the judges said it all. Not quite enough in the way of drawers and storage for a couple, and the ottoman is a clear mistake that even Omar and Oz agree is not meant to be there.

Alright guys, over to you! What did you make of The Block 2022 master bedrooms reveal? Drop me a comment below and let me know your thoughts.

Images for this post were supplied by The Block Shop. Check out Nine Now for more of The Block 2022 master bedrooms reveal.

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