The Block 2023 Master Ensuites Reveal: The Bathroom Grate Debate

The Block 2023 master ensuites were revealed a day late, and I’m still waiting for my apology from Channel 9. Sport interrupting reality TV is more criminal than a Belle Gibson for Fyre Festival collab, and I need it to never happen again.

Because I know nothing about football, I sadly can’t make any comical parallels between it and this week’s ensuites, so let me just say… some teams should have gotten a red card for ball tampering and been taken out of the scrum at dummy half. That makes sense, right?

The scoring was bonkers this week, and below is how I would have ranked the teams from best master ensuite to worst:

1. Eliza and Liberty for first (no doubt!)
2. Steph and Gian for second
3. Leah and Ash tie with Kyle and Leslie for third
4. Kristy and Brett for last (I’ll explain everything)

Scroll on as we examine this year’s master ensuites and talk out the highs, lows, and the bathroom scandal that will forever be known as #GrateGate!

Eliza and Liberty Tied for First

Three things are undeniably true when it comes to this master ensuite from Eliza and Liberty:

• It’s hand-down the best ensuite of the week
• It’s hand-down the best room they’ve produced on The Block all season
• It hands-down doesn’t resemble anything else in their home

The first two points are cause for celebration. The room exudes luxury, feels appropriate for the market they’re trying to sell to, and addresses functionality in a way many of the others missed in their designs this week.

The third point is the area of concern. A big concern. Let’s talk it out…

The Cohesion Between this Bathroom and Other Rooms is Non-Existent

If I didn’t know any better I’d say someone else designed this ensuite. It doesn’t look and feel like anything else in Eliza and Liberty’s house, and that’s a huge problem.

For this bathroom to have any cohesion with other rooms, they need to remove all of the blue and orange in every space. It almost feels too late in the game for them to fix all of the earlier issues and get the rooms looking as good as this master ensuite does.

Even as a wing it’s disjointed. They delivered what looked like a teenager’s bedroom during master bedroom week, and to go from it to this bathroom is a real head scratcher.

An Amazing Master Ensuite That Could Be Even Better

Eliza and Liberty’s master ensuite isn’t without fault. The first being the leg-shaving niches. Bending is not luxurious – you heard it here first. The shower area was large enough to have built-in benches at either end to sit on, and it would have made the zone more elevated.

The second is the brass trim around the doors and shower screens. It’s really very unnecessary. Let all of the other moments shine without going OTT with the trims. It’s a bit tizzy, which is not a compliment.

That’s actually all I would change. It’s really a rather beautiful master ensuite. I think it’s going to wow a buyer if they can get past the master bedroom it’s connected to.

Kristy and Brett Tied for First

Nobody else is addressing it, so I suppose the responsibility falls on me (I assume my Australian Of The Year Award is pending if not already confirmed). This here bathroom is a replica of their other bathroom. There, I said it! Kristy and Brett phoned it in.

Almost every single fitting and fixture is identical. Outside of a mirror and wall light, they just ordered more of the same and called it a day. Same tiles, same shower screen, same vanity, same basin. The list goes on.

Cohesion is one thing, and you want to tell a consistent story. But spaces in a home, like breasts or eyebrows, should be sisters not twins. And they’ve birthed some real Olsen’s here.

A Master Ensuite Should Be a Step Up

In any home, you want the master ensuite to be a more epic version of the main bathroom. In a luxury property in this area, it needs to have major wow-factor. Who wants the bathroom in their master wing to look like the one everyone else uses?

I don’t find this design replication successful from a saleability perspective. It also comes across as a little lazy, and a real lost opportunity. They could have changed the kit kat tiles to something else, or chosen another vanity, or had a striking light on the wall or ceiling.

This master ensuite needed to differentiate itself from the other bathroom in this home. But all it’s giving me is Single White Female.

Leah and Ash Came Third

Despite their intentions, I’m not getting ‘luxury’ or ‘day spa’ from Leah and Ash’s master ensuite. Bold? Sure. Playful? OK. Whimsical? Yes. But if a high-end retreat vibe is what they were going for, it was not achieved.

In the vanity area, the placement of tiles is odd. Why did they contain them like that? If they’d have tiled that entire wall it would have made more sense, felt more resolved. There are also a lot of hard angles in that area, which feels anything but easy-on-the-eye.

Between the windows, mirrors, tiles and vanity, the zone feels visually chaotic. There’s nowhere to rest your eye, no moment of calm. The additional of red accessories just furthers the intensity. And the wall sconces; they just make matters worse.

In case you didn’t pick up on my subtlety, this space isn’t doing it for me.

The Shower Zone Was Better, But Needed More

The concept of a large curved shower is a good one. But the result is only halfway there. As it stands, this zone is too open and barren. There’s no sense of sanctuary, no hug or embrace.

They should have installed a long bench seat at the back of the shower, and moved the grate to run along the front of it. That way you have somewhere to sit, you up the sense of luxury, and you remove the grate issue altogether.

This is happening a lot on The Block this year; big ideas arise, but the teams don’t have the skills, time or money to successfully pull them off.

Kyle and Leslie Came Fourth

Kyle and Leslie’s master ensuite is another example of looks over function. They’ve made a number of pretty rooms this season that a buyer will eventually find irritating to use on-the-daily (remember the studio bedroom with arched recesses a mile away from the bed instead of actual bedside tables?).

This bathroom is sadly another example of that. If they were insistent on delivering more curved features, a double vanity in the middle of the room with a curved-edge wall behind it (and an opening into the shower on either side) would have looked more successful.

To use the right-side vanity with a hairdryer in your right hand would be almost impossible (and vice versa for the lefties among us). It’s all too squished. I admire the idea (we love something new on The Block!), but the room is too small for what they wanted to achieve.

The Shower Area is Looks Over Function Too

That grate running through the centre of the shower is a decision more baffling than Summer Warne being on The Masked Singer. It’s not only visually unappealing but the judges were right to point out that it would annoy you every time you showered.

The shower zone itself is a little narrow, which just furthers my point that despite all the nice ideas, the spatial planning was subpar and the functional considerations were left by the wayside. Pretty pictures are nice and all, but these rooms need to be usable.

On a positive note, I do like all of the material choices. The tiles are calming, the basin and vanity are both successful, and the tapware works too. So that’s something.

Steph and Gian Came Last

I have to say, I don’t understand this ensuite coming last. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that the James Hardy panels may look more rough and industrial in-person than on-camera, but even that doesn’t place them below Leah and Ash, Kyle and Leslie, or Kristy and Brett.

Upon first glance, I can see why there was mention made that the vanity in Steph and Gian’s master ensuite should have been on the opposite wall. But, the natural light would then be directly behind you, which would be a killer when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror.

The layout here is good, the space feels light and bright, and the style is consistent with the rest of the home. I need someone to explain the scoring to me, because I’m confused. Like Mick Molloy being called a comedian, it makes no sense to me.

A Few Small Tweaks Could Be Made

The nod to Japandi without it going full throttle is a nice approach in this home, so I don’t agree that adding in timber trims around windows etc is what this room needs. In fact, I don’t think it need much in the way of changes at all, just a few small tweaks.

Now, we’ve addressed juju hats before during these recaps. And we know and agree that they’ve had their time as a decorative feature on walls in the homes of white people. So, it comes as no surprise that I don’t enjoy the one Steph and Gian used here.

Outside of that, we can also agree #GrateGate continues in this ensuite and is something they’d be wise to address. Who knew a grate could wreak so much havoc on a bathroom? Why these weren’t better-positioned is a mystery I’d liked solved. Somebody call Jessica Fletcher and tell her to ride into town, stat!

What did you make of The Block 2023 master ensuites reveal? Drop a comment below and share your thoughts.

Images by David Cook Photography, courtesy of The Block Shop. For more info on The Block 2023 master ensuites reveal, check out NineNow.