The Block 2023 Master Bedrooms Reveal: Layout and Functional Issues Plague the Spaces

The Block 2023 master bedrooms reveal was a bit like last week’s living and dining room reveals, in that I don’t think any of them were overly impressive. We’ve had some stunner spaces this season, but these bedrooms weren’t delivering joy and rapture.

It wasn’t just the lack of bedside storage in every room either (honestly, what the!?), but rather that every space left me wanting more. And some big design blunders weren’t called out.

I’m actually not certain who should have won, who should have come last. I’m more confused than Gen Z trying to use a rotary phone or street directory. You’ll have to tell me who you thought should have come out on top, because this week I’m of no help.

Scroll on as we deep dive into The Block 2023 master bedrooms reveals…

Steph and Gian Came First

I’m let down by this master bedroom. There, I said it. I’ve been quite the fan of Steph and Gian’s anemic style so far. I’ve been loving their take on Japandi. But they lost their way here, delivering a room that felt too luxe and over-saturated on the colour-front.

It’s not giving me the feeling I expected, which is cosy and ethereal and calm and layered. I don’t see velvet for them, I don’t see rich red tones for them. I don’t see that entire bed zone for them. I like those pieces, but it’s such a departure from their regular aesthetic.

The seating area I find the most unsuccessful. One larger curved sofa facing the fireplace with some nest tables would have been divine. What’s there is randomly placed furniture in an odd configuration. Nothing is grounded or anchored.

The sheer curtains pooling onto the floor look like the bootleg jeans we all wore in the early 2000s that dragged on the ground and got filthy. Never let your sheers pool like this, I beg of you.

The Walk in Robe Location Bothers Me

I don’t mind the look of the walk in robe (apart from the glass shelves, which we’ll address more in the next room), but the location of it is not doing it for me.

I could be in the minority here (by all means sound off in the comments), but I don’t want to walk through the robe to get to the bedroom. The robe is going to be the messiest zone of the lot. I want it tucked away, not front and centre as you enter the space.

Steph and Gian had every opportunity to move this layout around, but they didn’t. So I have to declare this a bad move. They could have created a hallway at least, so you don’t hit the WIR the moment you swing open the door.

Sidenote: Where is the full-length mirror in this room? We have a marble plinth but nowhere in this huge space to look at your outfit.

Kristy and Brett Came Second

I feel like such a Deborah McDowner this week, but I have to say I don’t feel hugged by this room like the judges were. Perhaps it translates differently in-person. The venetian plaster in that colour makes the room feel cave-like.

Say it with me people: gloss finishes do not make spaces feel warm. They in fact do the opposite. Reflective, glossy surfaces are not for the bedroom. That warm feature wall, against the cold white walls, is so high-contrast and creates an unappealing juxtaposition

That’s the issue, actually; the oranges are too saturated and the whites are too stark. It doesn’t create harmony. We need more beiges in there to bridge the gap. Removing the rug altogether would help greatly. Some canvas art on the wall bedside the bed would too. And replace the sheers to a warmer white version.

The Walk In Robe Was Better, But Not Amazing

I have to ask you to please refrain from putting glass doors like this in your walk in robe. I’m open to hearing your pushback, but I’m going to declare this a trend I won’t be adopting for any of my design projects.

The glass doors, tinted in black like this, make the robe look like a server room. Where’s the head of IT when you need them? I also feel they’ll be more fingerprinted than Trump and his co-conspirators, and dustier than me the night after drinking now that I’m in my early forties.

Spatially though I’ll give them props; it’s the second-best robe of the week after Steph and Gian’s. Spacious and with plenty of storage, it’s a robe I’d happily get ready in if I could replace the glass. Love the skylight in there too.

Leah and Ash Came Fourth

One thing I’ll give The Block 2023 is that it gives us an opportunity to examine why some of the adventurous ideas the teams try have fallen short. Here, the scalloped ceiling falls short. Not Danny Devito kinda short, but we’re definitely in Bruno Mars territory.

I admire the daring design attempts, I commend them for it. But the scalloping feels a little oppressive in the room, like they needed much higher ceilings to pull it off properly. The lack of overhead lighting isn’t acceptable either. Imagine trying to hunt down a rogue spider at night. I don’t know why my mind does there, but it does.

For it to work, the ceiling needed to be the hero in the room with everything else a quiet sidekick. But there’s a lot of noise here. At every turn something is screaming at you like you’re a rookie chef and the room is Gordon Ramsay.

The Other Issues Plaguing this Room

I thought the bench seat was a good idea upon first glance. But then you realise you can’t do anything on it apart from sit uncomfortably like you’re waiting to to be called in for a job interview, and it feels like a missed opportunity.

There’s so much space in this master bedroom but they didn’t utilise it. It needed more furniture, more layers, more comfort.

I said it last week and I’ll say it again; I feel confused by their home. There’s no common thread tying it together stylistically. The inconsistency is the only consistency. It’s a real Inception-style mind-bender.

The walk in robe was sadly a swing and a miss. That burgundy tone is sending me to the nineties, the glass-front doors look like wine fridges, and the makeup zone is tighter than the budgets on Selling Houses Australia.

Eliza and Liberty Came Fourth

I don’t know how to dance around it, you guys, so I’ll just rip the bandaid off: this is a teenager’s bedroom at best, not a master. The colour palette and the furniture reads as juvenile. There’s no polish to it, no refinement, no grandeur.

I’ve been in many client homes in this area of Melbourne and the master bedrooms are also far larger than this one. So it’s not just the style, but the size too, that makes this read as a secondary bedroom, not the main one.

The bright orange and blue colour palette they keep repeating in every room does not feel current. For sale purposes, I guarantee you someone will tone all of it down. If I’m being completely honest, I would remove everything except the bed and bench seat and start again.

The Walk In Robe Was OK

The walk in robe is neither offensive or a show-stopper. It’s just fine. It matches the look and feel of the master bedroom bedside it though, in that it feels more like a teenager’s space.

And if you’re thinking, surely a teenager doesn’t have a zone like this, trust me they do. This is why kids never leave home nowadays.

All in all, despite my initial confusion about the correct order of teams this week in terms of who was best and worst, I have to admit I feel Eliza and Liberty’s was the least successful master bedroom. Do you agree?

Kyle and Leslie Came Last

I’ve been fond of Kyle and Leslie’s aesthetic throughout the 2023 Block season, but I do find they’re often looks-over-function. And it’s the same again in this master bedroom. Creating pretty spaces is nice and all, but liveability always comes first. And it’s missing here.

Before we get to the layout, can we discuss the bed area? The arch and textured wall treatment; I commend them for trying, but it’s another juvenile moment. I’d expect to see it in a tween or teenage bedroom, not a master suite.

The bedside tables have no storage in them and are completely impractical. Between the corners on those stone tables and the popcorn-ceiling treatment on the wall behind the bed you’d be more bruised than Brian Austin Green’s ego after he took off his Masked Singer costume and the nation asked “who’s that?”.

The Layout in This Bedroom Doesn’t Work

You need a fair amount of space in a room to successfully execute a robe behind the bedhead. And they don’t have it here. The seating area is weird in a room of this size too. When you can sit in bed and look out the window, why dedicate so much space to a seating area where you can do the same?

Don’t get me wrong, I love a seating area in a bedroom (we’ve done many), but it needs to be in a large space. That area feels like it should have been a second walk-in-robe, or a makeup zone as Shaynna suggested.

They shouldn’t have taken space from their rumpus for that seating area. Then the bed could have been positioned on the wall to the left as you walk in, facing the WIR. I’d rather a smaller main bedroom, and a rumpus beside it that I can go read or watch TV in, then what they ended up with here.

What did you make of The Block 2023 master bedrooms reveal? Drop a comment below and share your thoughts.

Images by David Cook Photography, courtesy of The Block Shop. For more info on The Block 2023 master bedrooms reveal, check out NineNow.