The Block 2023 backyards reveal has just gone down. And like many moments in life, they reminded me Britney Spears’ back catalogue. Some spaces were very much a Gimme More, one was Criminal, and for a couple of teams it was a case of Oops, I Did It Again.
As per usual, I don’t agree with the scores. They were, like another great Britney release, Crazy (I promise no more Britney references from here on in.) This is how the leaderboard should have looked after this week’s backyard reveals:
- Leah and Ash for first (yes, you read that right)
- Steph and Gian for second
- Kyle and Leslie for third
- Eliza and Liberty fourth
- Kristy and Brett for last place
Read on as I critique The Block 2023 backyard reveals and let me know in the comments at the end if you thought any of this weeks reveals were stronger than yesterday (sorry, I had to squeeze one more in).
Steph and Gian Came First
Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of an outdoor room on the back of Steph and Gian’s home. But it must be said, it wasn’t really large enough to support two functions. Both a dining and lounge suite in this zone is more ambitious than Paris Hilton’s singing career.
Considering the indoor dining room is furthest away from the backyard, I’d have made the undercover zone outside all dining room. Then, given there’s so much grass outside, I’d have created a lounge zone further out in the yard with a cover over it. Then you have two roomier areas.
But, in the scheme of things that’s not a deal breaker, and Steph and Gian did create a stunning backyard. It has a lot going for it, and it does tick a lot of boxes functionally. Bar zone, pool zone, fire pit, living and dining, sauna; it has it all.
I Don’t Feel As Joyous as I Want To Be Though
I don’t know why I don’t feel as over the moon about this backyard as the judges were. It’s lovely, of course. It has everything, of course. But I don’t feel it hugs me as much as Leah and Ash’s does, which we’ll get to in a moment.
The zoning isn’t as good as it could be. It feels quite open out the back, almost barren. The softness is there in all of the greenery around the edge of the yard, but I want some of that feel to enter the yard. I want some paths carved out. I want to go on a journey, visually and physically.
But the yard doesn’t lead you anywhere. Everything just sits where it is but doesn’t lure you toward it. It must be said, Steph and Gian created a worthy second-place garden but they did not deserve the win in my eyes.
Leah and Ash Came Second
In a turn of events I never saw coming, I feel Leah and Ash deserved first place this week. Their backyard was very impressive. I agree with the judges on this one; there’s an instant feel of calm as you walk outside. It feels open and alluring, and is really well-zoned. They may have made some blunders inside, but outside they’ve done incredibly well.
The tree is epic, and it gives the backyard a focal point for everything else to exist around. I’ve not been into something this large and wooden since I watched Jason Mamoa’s acting in, well, any movie he’s made. The landscaping around it, and the seating zone to the left of it was beyond beautiful too.
The fire pit area was gorgeous, and allowed you to take in the exterior of the home, which was pretty impressive. The timber battens executed in the curved orientation around the barbecue were a moment as well. I’ve never been this filled with excitement over a Leah and Ash reveal.
The Outside Bath Was in the Right Location
Leah and Ash were right to put their outdoor bath at the back of the yard. It’s by no means a pool and nobody will convince me otherwise, but I do imagine the future buyer will enjoy it regardless, and it’s in the right location.
It’s sizeable enough, and they even built in a ledge to put a platter of cheeses and buckets of wine on. That may not be the intended purpose of the ledge, but it is in my fantasy. You heard it here first: every pool should have a cheese and wine ledge. Otherwise what else is there to do besides sit in water?
The tiling on the outside of the pool was lovely as well, and it did feel connected to the tiling inside in the kitchen. What can I say, you guys, I really can’t fault it.
Kyle and Leslie Came Third
While some of Kyle and Leslie’s backyard is impressive, overall it felt quite heavy. No matter which way the camera shot it, there were so many hard surfaces. It was more stoned than Snoop Dog and could have done with some softness through additional plants and florals.
The layout wasn’t as successful as it could be either. The seating area out the back of the property was in the wrong position. The buyer will undoubtedly want to sit with friends in a spot that’s not so hidden away around the back of the home. It feels like an afterthought. By the time you arrive at it, you’re pretty underwhelmed.
The large bath, which won’t be used nearly as much as a lounge area, took up so much real estate. It should have been around the back of the home instead, which would have given it a more private feel. Mum and Dad can then canoodle in the hot tub like they’re contestants on The Golden Bachelor without next door’s teens looking in on them in horror and confusion.
It Was a Case of Too Many Good Ideas
They had some great ideas, there were just too many of them. I commend them for fitting in four zones (dining, lounging, pool and fire pit), but it did come at a cost. And that cost was ending up with a yard that feels quite heavy and somewhat overwhelming rather than tranquil and calm.
It would have been more successful to forgo the outdoor bath altogether. As with Leah and Ash’s, it’s not big enough to be a pool, but it could be a small spa or hot tub that takes up less space. And then there could have been more grass. There was no sense of relaxation here which is a real shame.
Lastly, and it pains me to say this because I love their interior… but the exterior is not at all connected to the design inside. The inside is very warm, with beiges and creams and white. And then outside it’s very black and grey. It’s more disconnected than my internet as a teenager when Mum pulled the plug because I wouldn’t get off ICQ (if you know you know).
Kristy and Brett Came Fourth
You guys, I have to come right out and say this or else I’ll lose my Australian of the Year Award for truth in design. Kristy and Brett’s facade does not work. I’m trying to put it delicately but I really need to convey just how aggressive the bricks and black window frames look together. They’re like chalk and cheese, oil and water, Ed Kavalee and Have You Been Paying Attention.
Those black support beams cutting into the outdoor zone are also an eyesore. It all makes for a really brutal visual experience. There’s no softness here whatsoever. It feels like the harsh Australian outback, not suburban Melbourne. It’s giving me Mad Max vibes, not relaxing family backyard.
Outside of the visual harshness of the facade, I have to agree with guest judge Dave Franklin that the yard is, sadly, quite boring. I don’t see a lot of design, I don’t see zoning, I don’t see a combination of hard and soft. It’s just a large yard with a pool in it.
The Pool is Somewhat of a Saving Grace
Finally we have a pool that’s an actual pool, so Kristy and Brett have a saving grace in that respect. A family with young kids may love the idea of the larger pool to swim in, and it could get them over the line in terms of putting in a bid on auction day.
But outside of that, there’s nothing else positive to say. There’s nowhere to sit and relax, nowhere to spend a lot of time, nowhere think about the millions you’ve spent on this home considering how many defects you’ll eventually find inside.
This was not a good week for Kristy and Brett. Although I am loving the truth bombs this season from the likes of Dave Franklin and Marty Fox. I want more of this.
Eliza and Liberty Came Last
Eliza and Liberty’s backyard is a little light-on when it comes to design. It does feel a bit basic and bland, and there’s not a lot to really admire or gush over. It doesn’t feel particularly elevated and when you line it up against some of the others either.
I’m glad the pool is larger than some of the outdoor tubs the other yards have, but I don’t feel it’s in the right location. If it was turned the other way and ran long the fence (where the fire pit is) there would be more space in the centre of the yard to dedicate to grass and planting.
Sadly a larger pool is not enough to forgive the poor layout and material choices. The yard also bears no resemblance to the design inside. But what is the design inside? Perhaps that’s why cohesion was impossible. It’s another zone that is completely random in style.
The Side Area Could Have Been Better Utilised
I don’t understand having an outdoor dining zone right beside an indoor dining zone. If the pool was moved toward the fence as I suggested, a dining zone with barbecue in it could have sat beside it, so you’re drawn toward the studio and pool to eat.
That side area feels rather enclosed and intimate. Perhaps that could have been an outdoor cinema for kids, or they could have given it a conservatory feel with plants running up the walls and a lounge zone within it.
I don’t have all the answers I’m afraid, but I do know that the layout in this yard isn’t quite working and the material choices did indeed make it feel rather basic. Not a last-place backyard though.
What did you make of The Block 2023 backyards reveal? Drop me a comment below and share your thoughts on how you’d score each room.
Images by David Cook Photography, courtesy of The Block Shop. For more info on The Block 2023 backyards reveal, check out NineNow.
I agree with most of your feedback but the girls backyard was better than house 3
House 4 has the only decent lawn space for children to play, the other homes have crammed a lot in a small area.