I was hoping the House Rules 2018 Kim and Michelle reveal was going to be my medicine this week. You see, I’ve been battling man-flu (it’s actually probably just a cold), and I needed some amazing design to act as my metaphorical chicken soup.

Did I get it? Well, maybe a little. This week I’m trying my best not to be an absolute bitch like I felt I was with last week’s reveal. But I did read last week’s post again and I stand by my assessment that pretty much every room was diabolical in Josh and Brandon’s home. Boys, if you’re reading this (they’re not), I hope you paid the stripper well. That’s one tough gig.

Thankfully this week the teams didn’t completely ruin the rooms. Well, except one. There was one space that even Helen Keller could see was a hot mess. But we’ll get to that one shortly.

In the meantime, let’s jump right into assessing the House Rules 2018 Kim and Michelle reveal…

Inside the House Rules 2018 Kim and Michelle Reveal

Toadfish and Mandy Transformed the Loungeroom

The colour palette in the living room is gorgeous. I know exactly what Kim and Michelle would have been thinking when they delivered the house rules. I love that dusty purple and charcoal grey combo with a few luxe elements.

So Toadfish and Mandy, I salute you! Your colour palette is a stunner and I think there’s a really nice exploration of tones in the space. See, I can be nice when it’s warranted!

The placement of furniture, and the size and scale of it, is also good for the most part. They packed in a lot of seating and it feels neither dwarfed or oversized in the space. The TV cabinetry was also lovely, and even the wallpaper and artwork tied into the scheme they were going for.

So, they deserve much praise.

The one issue I do have (you knew it was coming!) is that horrendous leather sofa. With studding. Ick, ick, ick! It is straight out of 1995 and if you tell me any of those seats recline I am going to die right here and now. Don’t even bother calling for help.

Also, you know that I’m a fiend for cushions. Absolutely obsessed. But the ones they used look pedestrian in the space. Feather inserts, people, feather inserts!! It looks too lived in and amateur, and none of those cushions will stay on that leather sofa. This is why I never recommend leather sofas. So baron and cold.

Let’s Discuss Josh and Brandon’s Master Bathroom

Last week I said that I tend to give praise to teams on this show simply because they don’t totally mess up spaces. I know that’s not how it should be, but this is House Rules; the bar is set pretty low.

In Josh and Brandon’s master bathroom, I have to give them kudos. LLB was underwhelmed by the room, saying “This is a whole lot of marble and then a couple of green basins. That is not exciting me at all”. LLB, you used to be my spirit animal. You’ve changed. I’m not sure what he’s expecting from a bathroom but I’m completely OK with this.

I’m surprised they got this critique considering the judges have seen laundries WITH YELLOW GROUT. I mean, seriously, if we’re comparing rooms, this bathroom is a gift from the gods.

And the thing is, I don’t even consider it mediocre. I consider it pretty good. I love a marble bathroom (explore a designer one here) and I really admire their courage in installing the mint basins. Paired with the black tapware I’m kinda convinced. The more I look at it, the more I like it.

The Boys also Worked on Melissa’s Bedroom

This is the first time that the majority of rooms in a House Rules home spoke to one another stylistically.

For example, Melissa’s bedroom totally speaks to the colour palette of the living room and dining space. It makes for a home that feels connected and harmonious. So I gotta credit all of the teams on at least being closer to the same page this week. Perhaps not ON the same page, but closer to it.

A lot of things worked in this room, but that brick wallpaper is not one of them. I don’t know what possessed Josh and Brandon to do that. If that wallpaper was a soft grey or cream, as we saw in the living room, it would have made for a stellar feminine space. Instead, the contrast between the soft colour palette and the masculine brick wall is just too much.

With all that said, I don’t think the boys deserved to end up on the bottom of the leaderboard. Especially because we’re on our way to unveiling the WORST ROOM EVER.

Leigh and Kristie Tackled Michelle’s Bedroom

Leigh and Kristie get my personal award for conceptualising a lovely scheme this week. They were clearly going for a soft and feminine French provincial room and they delivered. It ticked many boxes.

Every individual piece they selected for the space was lovely. The headboard was divine. The bedsides were good. The lamps fit the scheme perfectly. I liked the paint colour. The chandelier was a winner.

Can you sense something bad is coming? Because it is.

The room is too small to hold all of these bells and whistles. It’s a fact!

This is a perfect example of a good scheme in the wrong room. It’s one of the things I learnt when I studied interiors. You have to work with the room you have, and design it in a way that brings out the best in the space. You can’t just come up with a concept, cram it all in and hope for the best. Because this isn’t the best. It’s master bedroom lushness squeezed into a smaller guest bedroom.

This room pretty much mirrors me trying on last year’s shorts when sprint hits: too tight for everything you’re trying to get into it!

That’s the one unfortunate downer in this room. And what will end up happening is that Michelle will have to remove some of it, and then the room won’t feel resolved.

A room this size absolutely can’t take wall moulding.

Jess and Jared worked on the Ensuite

LLB said it was a “textbook example of why you don’t use big tiles in a small room”. He also said that the tiles were one of the nastiest shades of grey he’d seen in his entire life.

I have to disagree on both of those statement. LLB and I are not speaking this week. I thought I knew you!

In fact, large tiles can work wonderfully in a smaller space (here is a perfect example). I’ve seen loads of ensuites and even tiny powder rooms that have used large-scale tiles with great success. And there is also nothing wrong with the colour of the tiles either. I think it just wasn’t the right space for them.

The thing is, a small ensuite either needs a clean, all-white kind of scenario to make it feel airy. Or you go for a dark and moody scheme and use tiles in a far deeper tone. That’s the main issue here; those tiles don’t open up the space, nor do they give it that sense of dark drama.

But, in accordance with my “at least they didn’t mess it up completely” code of judging, I still say this is a decent room. Kim and Michelle won’t have to make any changes, that’s for sure. So let’s be a little more lenient here. Because there’s a room coming up that needs MAJOR changes.

David and Chiara delivered a Meh Girls Room

David and Chiara delivered a girls room that was straight out of any little girls from across the country. It had carpet. It had pink paint. And white beds. And run-of-the-mill bedding. I don’t even know what to say about it really, except that there’s no design here and what looks to be zero thought put into a scheme.

I don’t know why people become so unhinged when it comes to doing kids spaces on this show. They were children once. Many of them have children. It seems the contestants either give bland rooms that you can’t even tell are kids spaces, or they deliver an over-themed mess like the pirate room and dinosaur room of weeks gone by.

Kids rooms needs to be designed just like other rooms do. You just need to add in some whimsical moments that encourage play and imagination, like in this kids bedroom.

David and Chiara must have been saving all of their divine design moments for this next space (and yes, that is meant to be absolutely sarcastic!).

Avert your Eyes: It’s the Ugliest Splashback Ever

We’ve finally arrived at the “Has the world gone mad, or have I?” room of the week. Because nobody can convince me that this is a successful kitchen, and yet the judges lapped it up!

Wendy even said that the purple splashback “works perfectly… on paper this would make me shudder, but in reality this excites me.” Girl, come on. I can’t with that comment.

The purple splahback does more than make me shudder. It actually kinda p*sses me off. Why would you choose to put that in a kitchen? It’s a hideous colour, it looks cheap and tacky, and it does nothing to elevate the look of the room. Someone pour me a wine and pass me a Bex… I need a good lie down to calm my nerves.

Even if we took the splashback away (which I’m betting Kim and Michelle will do) the space is still pretty bad. The cabinetry is way too dark for the space. The silver cabinetry in particular looks like it was purchased in white and sprayed in some horrible DIY project gone wrong.

This room is a Grimace-meets-spaceship moment and I want all of it to go away.

I cannot wait to see how Kim and Michelle react to it.

Mel and Dave Deserved Top Spot this Week

I took a few minutes out to meditate and pray, and now I’ve come back to end this post on a high: Mel and Dave’s work. There’s no doubt they absolutely deserved to come out on top of the leader board this week. I thought both spaces they worked on were very successful.

Granted, I’m personally not into the House Rules trend of mismatched chairs/benches at a dining table. That was my one critique of the room. I think the area would have looked more sophisticated had there been eight of the upholstered chairs only. But the marble table is a delicious inclusion and it gave the open plan room a luxe feel.

It would have been so nice to carry that white marble feel into the nearby kitchen, don’t you think? A nice light and bright kitchen with some black and purple luxe moments. Sorry, I clearly can’t let up about that kitchen! Someone call my therapist immediately and book me in for a consult.

In the bedroom things got even better. Love the headboard, love the bed linen, love the carpet colour. It’s all working wonderfully. I also absolutely adore the built in cabinetry either side of the bed. What a neat idea. And it gives you so many nooks to create vignettes in.

The sheer curtains added a necessary layer of softness, and the concept of a floral wallpaper on the wall is a good one. This particular one feels a little too high-gloss for my likings, but its a nice idea. A soft cloth wallpaper in a dusty purple tone would have also worked. But it was a very pleasing space to be in.

The armchair is a fail though (sorry guys). I’m sure we can all agree that a velvet armchair like these ones would have looked way better. But all in all, congrats on a fabulous space!

What are your thoughts on his week’s House Rules reveal?

Now that we’ve looked at all the rooms in the House Rules 2018 Kim and Michelle reveal, I need to hear from you!

Drop me a comment below and let me know which rooms you loved and which you loathed. And pleeease tell me what you think of that splashback. I do genuinely want to know if there’s anyone out there who would love this in their place.